Glimmer
by Guardian1
Summary: Through a black mage's eyes, trying to save Vivi on the cargo ship. First FF9 fic, inherently confusing.


Glimmer  
_________ 

"Hello." 

Don't hear... forgot to listen. Mind, eyes, hands, focused fully on  
the order. Too much talking, anyhow. Everyone goes talk talk talk  
talk talk to me, except when they ORDER ORDER ORDER ORDER in loud  
sharp voice. 

"My name is Vivi." 

More talk, opening hearing. No order - just the talk talk talk,   
quiet, little, dusty-small. Need not listen any more. 

"Um... What's yours?" 

Can see him, out of eye in corner. Hands falter on order - he's so  
small, little tiny quiet like his talk, eyes glimmer like happy  
lights, like me like others, tiny child... but no, not care, don't  
ignore order, ignoring order WRONG BAD PAIN NO. 

"... Hello? U-um... don't you want to talk?" 

Talk a never-order. Never talk. Even if ordered, no talk comes from  
me. Me just to do order, never to talk - good to be quiet when  
ordered pain. Good to die quiet. 

If could, would. If could, say your 'Hello'. 

"..." 

So small, so cryingly small. Orders inside pain - makes me order  
new things, new want. Want to cradle him; childs need cradling,   
and he so small. Never seen small. Born big, all of us. 

Sad staring, ordered from his eyes. Even harder to do order, hands  
trying hard to keep on work. 

He goes, hat bobbing, bobbing. 

It orders ache, tight inside.  
_______________ 

He tries. Tries tries tries tries tries; tries others-us. Talk talk  
talk to them, talk talk talk. 

They ordered same; from each he goes, big sad eyes, lamps in dark. 

But me knows they ache. They all obey ache. To live is obey, whatever  
ordered. 

Small, small, dusty-small. Was me ever small? Think not. But he  
small, pretty bright quiet. Talk, talk, talk, dusty-quiet voice.  
Thinking his voice makes almost-smile. 

Thoughts go away - ship lurches. Ship not ordered lurching. Wrong  
wrong wrong wrong; fixing ordered. All us go up. 

People in the order-area. Tall person there; orders us away, so  
obey, all us. Stand quietly around, in case new orders needed. Small  
child quiet by him, standing near others. 

Ship lurches, he leave. One stays, making order on the ship. We watch,  
dusty-quiet. 

Then _he_ comes. 

Tall, orders. Like us, not like us. Burning eyes like torchfire,  
not as warm. Quick to order pain, more quick to make us obey it.  
Orders inside me sick, almost-tremble with worry, fear on fire.  
Child so small, so easy for _him_ to order pain. 

Child need never-order for pain. Thought of him paining orders me  
angry inside. 

Angry a never-order. We not ordered angry. But angry I obey. 

Eyes meet. Talk is a never-order, but glimmer of our eyes is talk  
obey enough. 

We know. We obey. 

_He_ orders outside. Talks ice, talks cruel; eyes burn on child.  
Child cowers, child cringes. 

We fear. We obey. 

Magic runs bright through fingertips, burning fire that orders pain.  
We all know magic, but it is a never-order. 

Never-orders! No place here, no place with our fear for dusty-sweet  
child. Order him from fire. Order him from pain. No wrong, no bad, no  
nothing, not ever any more. Disobey is right. 

_He_ raises his hands, angry jerks, burning eyes at child. Loud  
orders. 

Kill. 

ORDER. Make no more. 

Kill. 

ORDER. Make dim. 

... 

We cannot let him obey. Within us, something burns hot; never-order  
of refusal. 

We come, child. We come.  
____________ 

Angry orders from _him_, but we disobey. Crowd around the child,  
cradle, protect. No weapon but magic at fingertips; anything to   
order _him_ pain, anything to protect. 

We lift our hands, fire glimmering bright; ready to order, to hurt - 

Hit, falling! Magic runs hot through _him_, hotter, hotter than ours.  
Breaking up inside, thrown back, burnt and pained and air wind   
grabbing body. Obey broken, obey split. 

Inside me, things broken, things loose, deep deep down aching where  
the burning hot lived. No matter, no more; burns me all over, fully  
obeying only me. 

Child screams, piercing air, piercing _his_ laughter. Obeying  
pain, obeying break; quiet now, sounds melting, hearing lost gone. 

Good to die quiet. Dimming, dimming... child looks down, eyes so  
sad they make deep ache. If could, would comfort. If could, would  
smile for him. 

Goodbye, child. Make sadness a never-order. Goodbye, ship. Fall is  
like float. Goodbye, _him_. Goodbye, goodbye, child. Dying for  
you is worth many lives with order. 

See his eyes glimmer - then we free. 

~fin~  
____________ 

A/N: Yes, I know that sucked, but it's my first FF9 fic and I haven't even  
fully finished the game yet. It's FF8 all over again - I wrote my first  
three fics blind, not having even _played_ the game, let alone finished  
the sodding thing. Final Fantasy is always too damn inspiring. I just  
had to write this - when I saw this scene, I just wept my eyes out. I know  
I've done it no justice, but I tried. Maybe I got the entire thing  
totally wrong. Maybe it's revealed later that the black mages were  
trying to eat Vivi, or were attracted to his sexy shoes. I don't  
care.

Anyway, please forgive me for inconsistencies, and review to tell me  
off for writing such a confusing, convoluted piece. Thanks for reading! 


End file.
